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A Beginners Guide to Tropical Living

Or Tropical Living for Dummies

A Beginners Guide to Tropical Living

  • Any food left out will be consumed by ants
  • Don’t freak out when there is a lizard in the sink (or in your shoe)
  • Bugs too small to see with the human eye will bite you – everywhere
  • When the forecast says 80% chance of rain that means there is an 80% chance it will rain for 15 minutes
  • The roosters are confused
  • There will be sand in every crevice and orafice and in your bed and purse and…
  • Beer in a can will reach boiling point in about 30 minutes
  • Deodorant is useless
  • The chirping in the bedroom is not a bird, it’s a gecko
  • Falling coconuts give no warning
  • Turn the bathroom light on at night so you can see the giant spider
  • Tropical fruit will make you regular
  • Topless sunbathing requires extra sunscreen
  • Time moves at a slower pace than elsewhere in the world
  • Get used to people, including yourself, changing clothes on the beach
  • Only tourists and school children wear shorts
  • Your hair will be frizzy.  Period.  Don’t fight it.

Just chill brah.

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