A Beginners Guide to Tropical Living

• Any food left out will be consumed by ants
• Don’t freak out when there is a lizard in the sink (or in your shoe)
• Bugs too small to see with the human eye will bite you – everywhere
• When the forecast says 80% chance of rain that means there is an 80% chance it will rain for 15 minutes
• The roosters are confused
• There will be sand in every crevice and orafice and in your bed and purse and…
• Beer in a can will reach boiling point in about 30 minutes
• Deodorant is useless
• The chirping in the bedroom is not a bird, it’s a gecko
• Falling coconuts give no warning
• Turn the bathroom light on at night so you can see the giant spider
• Tropical fruit will make you regular
• Topless sunbathing requires extra sunscreen
• Time moves at a slower pace than elsewhere in the world
• Get used to people, including yourself, changing clothes on the beach
• Only tourists and school children wear shorts
• Your hair will be frizzy.  Period.  Don’t fight it.

Just chill brah.