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Motherhood Musings – Being the Perfect Mother

Recently a good friend of mine asked me for some advice about Motherhood.  Specifically, how to survive it. She was failing at being the perfect mother.

<img alt = "my kids">

I love this photo of a very young me with my two boys.

She felt she screamed and yelled a lot and she was ready to pull out her hair.

Ahhh, yes, I do remember those days.  I have brief moments now, when I am regretful for yelling at my kids.  But I stop and think often, “they turned out pretty damn good.”  I can’t change anything that has happened, so I don’t dwell on it.

My advice to my friend was this; “The perfect parent is the one who realizes they aren’t and never will be.”

Stop trying so hard to be super woman and relax and enjoy the precious fleeting moments.  I sure wish I had done that more.  Where you are going, is where you are.  Embrace the moment as often as you possibly can.  And when you can’t or don’t or won’t, move on and try it again.  How to be the perfect mother is knowing when to move on.

I have some really fond memories of raising my kids that stick out in my mind, none of them monumentally extreme; a small baby staring into my eyes, a pillow fight in the living room, a Christmas Eve story.  Little things that I was able to stop and embrace, knowing how special

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Together in Burkina Faso

the moments were.

Life is made up by precious moments, so often passed by with out acknowledgement or ritual.  Take time each day to recognize at least a few and you will be a better Mother for it.  But not perfect.

I believe the best thing we can teach our children is to be tolerant.  It starts with us, and that doesn’t just mean tolerance towards race, religion, and gender. It means tolerance for all the little things that get in our way while we are trying to get through each day.  Showing our kids through our actions that we are tolerant and able to deal with everyday crises, teaches our kids how to do that as well. What could possibly be a better life lesson than that?

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With my boys when they were early twenties

None of us are perfect, least of all me.  But I have learned a few useful things along the way, and perfection is neither attainable or worth out.

I love you D & E! Go. Be. Fabulous!

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